Training Day

Time for a new post...it’s late, I don't have to work tomorrow, and I'm feeling like writing. I've spent the last two days doing practically nothing. That's a weird feeling for me. It's definitely a bittersweet feeling. It's nice to not have to worry about doing a darn thing all day. Luxurious, almost, to know that there's no one counting on me, that I have no responsibilities, and I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. To the contrary, it's depressing to know that there's no one counting on me, that I have no responsibilities for the day, and well, the not having to do anything I don't want to do is still nice. It seems as though the biggest change for me is that the pace of my life has slowed way down, a fact that I still haven't digested. Last weekend, I was sitting in my pastor's office in St. Louis, and we were reminiscing about ULC and he looked at me and said, "But that time in our lives is over.” And what I seriously thought was, “Well, maybe for you, it is.” And then I realized he was right. And that thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've completed week five of training. It's been an interesting trip. I've joined a man's world, witnessed by the party I attended on Friday night at a co-worker's house, at which I was the lone female. (And PLEASE don't ask me if they were unattached. It's already gotten old.) However, I've found that most of the people who work for ADM are phenomenal. It's amazing how many people in this company truly enjoy their job. It makes me feel blessed to be in such a situation. I guess I always expected to have a job I hated. I mean, isn’t that how it generally works. That’s why Office Space is so funny, right? But the past five weeks have shown me that I could definitely enjoy what I’m doing. I'll just have to wait and see what happens!

I've been living in a hotel for five weeks, and I'll likely be living in one for another four weeks or so, by the time I get into an apartment. Funny story - I had a pile of papers and other random crap on the desk by my laptop, and I cleaned up the other night, and there happened to be a dollar bill under some of the papers. I didn't think much of it, and left it there but I came home on Friday evening and found a note that said, "Thanks for the tip! Housekeeping" I laughed as hard as I have since I started this job. Is it customary to tip the maid? Or perhaps the more important question, is leaving only a dollar being cheap?? (Yes, Mom, I know I shouldn’t leave money lying around.)

By the way, the four most beautiful words in the English language: “Pitchers and catchers report.”

I’ve been introduced to a praise song that I like as much as any praise song I’ve heard the past few years. It’s called “How Deep the Father’s Love.” The last verse especially, blows me away:

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart: His wounds have paid my ransom.

For Lent, I decided to get back in the habit of reading my Bible every day. This is a habit I got into a long time ago, but fell out of in grad school. No excuses, really. Anyway, last night, I read 1 Tim 4. Verse 7 says, "Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales, rather train yourself to be godly." I'm sure I'd heard that verse before, but it hit especially hard last night. Two parallels occurred to me. The first, more obvious connection is the comparison to an athlete training. When someone is training, it pervades his every activity. Training is not an isolated part of an athlete’s life. It doesn’t solely occur when he is at the gym. It affects what he eats, drinks, and all his other activities. In order to be most effective, training can’t be a half-hearted attempt. It’s sort of like my efforts to exercise and make healthy meals while I have a hotel room with a kitchenette, while I also keep two pints of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer. (Anyone tried the Peanut Butter Cookie Dough? They might as well have called that Betsyjo’s Batch.) Anyway, any activities that don’t support the training routine can only keep physical condition in maintenance mode. In the same way, it seems like any activities that don’t completely train me in Christ’s ways can, at best, keep my faith where it is. And that’s if I’m lucky.

The other kind of training that I thought about was the kind of training I am doing right now. I’m getting involved with the different activities of ADM, which has exposed me to things I didn’t even know existed. I thought about what a great analogy this provides for training myself to be godly. I have been told repeatedly to do two things. First, learn as much as I can. I can do this by being in the Word, going to church, finding a Bible study, etc. This will undoubtedly expose me to things I’ve never seen before. Which leads to…the second thing I’ve been told to do is to ask lots of questions. I have learned to be inquisitive the past five weeks. Asking a lot of questions isn’t a natural impulse to me. I’ve usually been quite content to sit back and take it all in. But I realized that is wasting valuable resources. Even if I’m relatively sure of the answer, if I ask an expert, they’ll usually expand the answer into something I haven’t heard before. So I’ve learned that questions are a good way to learn. So can I ask God questions? Will he teach me? As a matter of fact, God answers my question by saying, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3) Sometimes, God will show me the answers quickly. Sometimes He might not. And sometimes, just as in my current training, the answer is, in so many words, “You just wouldn’t understand that right now.”

May our training regimens be rigorous.