Randomness

Things on my mind tonight:

Baseball playoffs are in full swing. My pick, Twins over Mets. Twins made sure I got that wrong. So much for knowing anything about baseball. The Tigers just got their second win over the Yankees. You cannot believe how happy this makes me.

I got to see my sister last night, and again this afternoon. I got lost in three different states last night trying to find her in Dubuque, and I ran a red light and almost killed someone. But I found her. She is spending a year on/with Youth Encounter. Please take some time to read her team's website. She is traveling the States and putting on programs for the next three months, and then heads to Peru and Bolivia to do the same there. I know that God is doing and will do amazing things through them.

I am home alone on a Friday night. The playoffs are on, I haven't been home much lately, last night was a late night and, most of all, I needed to do laundry. Here's the thing...turns out I'm out of laundry detergent. Not to worry, I found some Woolite. But I used my last dryer sheet a couple weeks ago. I can go without, (what do dryer sheets do in the first place, anyway?). But the real limiting factor was that I only had enough quarters to do three loads. Nothing like planning ahead.

I have an overdue library book. I read something about this book, and put it on hold weeks and weeks ago at the library, finally got it and didn't finish it in the 10-day check-out window. Now I owe $2 on it and I'm not that enthralled with the book. But I feel committed to read it in the same way that I feel committed to a staying on a customer service phone call after I've been on hold for 45 minutes.

I recently purchased two cds from Sandra McCracken and aside from a couple necessary country music fixes, that's all I've been listening to. Both cds have beautiful final tracks, songs that I've listened to over and over and over. Last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy (yes, I'm hooked) touched on a theme that Sandra McCracken so eloquently sums up: "And I'd rather have the mystery, and the madness and the rains, because hell's the only place we can be free of all love's pain."

Last weekend was easily the most fun I have had in a very long time. I went to Shelbyville, MO for a Shrimpboil. There were 1700 people in attendance. 1100 pounds of shrimp, 500 pounds of catfish, 750 pounds of crablegs, and 3 whole hogs, and that was just the main courses! I went with 7 other people who I've met through ADM, people who make me glad I moved up here just because I got to meet them.

So Stef and I were talking about being single a while back, and both agreed to blog about it. She beat me to it by about a month. I've had a draft for a while, entitled On Being Single, Too. For On Being Single One, click here.

It's been hard for me to blog about being single because my opinion of being single changes so often, sometimes by the hour.

Sometimes, most times even, I'm so glad to be single, for now. I like being on my own, I like going places on the weekends, and I like hanging out with people who I probably wouldn't hang out with if any of us were married. In short, I'm having fun. On the other hand, I do really want to be married at some point in the not-so-distant future, and I get impatient. Sometimes I don't want to wait another second for My Guy to show up. Other times, I'm more than willing to wait to become the girl that he needs, even as he does the same for me.

I've heard a theory kicked around that unsettles me. It goes something like this: "You're not ready to be married unless you can get comfortable with the idea of being single your whole life." If this is true, (and I don't think it is), I will never be ready for marriage. I've met a lady here who didn't get married until she was in her mid-50s. She is a terrific woman, smart, pretty, funny, successful. Outwardly, there is NO reason she shouldn't have been married earlier. More than once, I have thought, "I want to just pull this lady aside and get the whole story." The thought of being single that long does not sit well with me at all. I struggle with this, because what it comes down to is trust. I can either trust that it is God's will for me to be married and have a family someday, or I can trust that I can serve him by being single, and that will be enough.

If there is one thing I am sick of hearing, it is that I "need to trust God's timing." I don't mean to nullify that point. I know it's true and I know it's biblical that God times things perfectly. I've just heard it so often that it doesn't mean much to me. Or, why is it this person's "time" to get married, but not mine? Or, when the time actually comes, will it be worth the wait? But recently I ran across a quote that shed a new light on God's timing, and more than that, why waiting on God's timing is so important.

"Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best; God finds it hard to give because He would give the best, and man will not take it." George MacDonald